Too Much..?
Well, anyone whose lived with me the past few years..so that would be Norma, Wendy and Pam know that I don't do my homework. Ever. Yet, the feeling I get after I finally do finish an assignment is incredible. It's like the world is right again. I finished a week and half late assignment last night, and it was great. I just wished I did it a week and a half ago. Now I have three assignments due this Friday. Can I pull it off?I've been feeling crappy for like two weeks. My nose doesn't stop running, and I think I've turned the color green. Quite like this writing. Pam can testify. Yet I refuse to not go to the gym. I just won't rest. I feel too lazy if I do. If I miss the gym I feel terrible, like my life is over. BUT I JUST DON'T GET HEALTHY! I would love to just take a day off life and watch TV and curl up with some blankets and ginger ale and just sleep the day away. Maybe skip the ginger ale, the diet stuff is gross. That would be a perfect moment. But..I think that's cheating. I wish I could get the same passion I have for the gym and getting excerise as I do for my homework. I would be the smartest person alive. But I know that even if I did have that dreamed of day off to do nothing..I sure wouldn't touch my homework.Shoot.
On My Own..
Today I went to church. Now that's not weird, it's Sunday, I go to church. But today I went to a church where I know no one. Thought I would offically start my transition into a new church. I think it was the worst experience of my life. Now I want to write it down so when in the future I am at peace in a church, I can look back and think how I got through this.
I walked into the church, tons and tons of people, no familar faces, I didn't even know where the bathroom was! I sat at the back, so I could bolt if I had to. And I had to. I was just sitting there thinking how I knew not even one person there, how I just wished that things weren't so screwed up so I didn't have to leave Westside. I had purpose at Westside, it was my home. I had people I knew and loved and I felt 100% comfortable there. I'm scared that I won't ever find that at another church.
So during the song "Pour out my heart", which is a personal song in my life so it didn't help, I left. And I drove to Westside. I sat at the back, the service was almost over. All I needed was those familar faces today. But that's not home anymore either. Home is where your heart is right? My heart is definatly not at Westside, it was broken there, but definatly is not whole there.
I wish things could be back to normal. I had a passion and a love for that church that was getting stronger and stronger until...
I really don't know how to end this one, so I won't. Time for the GYM!!
Once Again..
Well my last blog site ended in me deleting the whole thing because, well..there was things on there I never want to read again. So, today I start fresh. This year has only been 2 weeks long so far, but the changes already are crazy. Change #1--Me and my one room-mate Pam...and Wendy too, although she is far away, have started eating way better and exercising way more. I feel great about that. It is back to being FOR ME AND ONLY ME. Trust me on this one, when it becomes for someone else and not yourself, it sucks and it DOESN'T work. Having encouragement instead of pressure is a beautiful thing as well. Change #2--My best friend and room-mate is gone to Winnipeg for a few months. Now I love this girl (that's you Wendy) with my whole life and I really am used to seeing her everyday, so that is a definate change. Even though it is for the best right now, I still miss her. Change #3--I offically am going to be a non-attender of Westside Pentecostal Church quite soon. Wow, that is a big one. That church has been a part of my life for a very long time and it really is all I know, and has everyone I know, and everything I know. Bad choices equal bad consequences. I am excited for this change, terrified it's the wrong decision, yet peaceful about it all at the same time. It will be a roller-coaster few weeks.So, if the first 2 weeks of 2007 have already brought all this new stuff, I am kind of..interested to see what will happen during the other 50 weeks.
